Thoughts of a Male Chauvinist Pig
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a
woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something
smart?
When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told
me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven.
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and
you're going to want to shoot it.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you
let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't
like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her
intelligence?
Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy
is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a
woman's sex drive by 90%---wedding cake
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